today was pretty good. i sum it up simply so i can see it for what it was. moments were wonderful, and others were pretty blase, but all in all, i would call it a good day.
i got up with prayer and coffee, and i felt the hesitation about going to the gym but i got dressed for the gym and just took my time getting there. i went around seven and talked to a woman who i discovered was my cousin, my dad's first cousin on his father's side. my grandfather's niece. i remember her by name, but not by event, but it was still a pleasant surprise. i went to do the treadmill since my machine was vacant and talked to my friend J, who was on the one next to me finishing up her exercise. it was the first time i've actually had a conversation with someone during working out. that is more eventful for me that it might be for others.
i came home and checked my sugar and took meds and insulin and TP called. i mostly listened but we talked quite a while. i'd printed off my lawyer information and was going to print out my paperwork for renewing my gym membership but i ran out of ink, so i took a letter to the membership lady, rather i left it for her at the front desk, and she called me back and we rescheduled. i mailed the letter to jfs rather than delivering it, because TP was talking for quite some time and i had an envelope that required no stamp with the caseworker's name on it. i went to burger king for breakfast, which wasn't good but it is now history. i did some proofreading on the new book, and i made some calls. checked some emails. i did get an email back from the funeral home, and that is a call for an appointment i'm going to make tomorrow.
i went to lunch with Lonnie because he's been going through so much. i also heard from my mother that my father fell down the stairs yesterday, but wouldn't go to the hospital. some things are signs of other things that are really happening. i trust my intuition when i can extrapolate from all the data i have peripheral to a situation and an individual is not going to tell me the facts, which only they could have. my father's father died after falling in the bathtub. he just buried his sister at the beginning of the year. so i'm thinking he's really not wanting to be anything other than okay right now. plus, he's got some kind of banquet deal with his group tomorrow, and i don't think he wants to miss that either. anyway, lunch with Lonnie, and then i came home and sort of just hung out. Syd was hanging with her other and i was feeling a bit thoughtful about the deal with R. i wish i were the sort of person who did not trust my intuition as mentioned above, but i am. i believe she's just not wanting to deal with me right now. i go through this a lot. but i am trying to remain above the depression line, because it took a lot for me to open my heart up again, and it took an awful lot to keep it open when i went through the bullshit with heather. so, if i close it up, it's going to stay that way for quite some time. i'm pretty sure of that. and that time is coming, but until it's here, i want to remain as much a part of my own solution as is possible.
gym tomorrow. counseling tomorrow. gonna start cleaning tomorrow. going to find out how the campaign wrapped up tomorrow, i'm pretty sure. would be nice if that 'good news' was in the mail as the fortune cookie said earlier this month. but, what the fuck does a cookie know? Thank you, Father.
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