this has been a day of nothingness. it was so damn cold this morning, i did not go to the gym, didn't leave the house at all in the early morning. i said my prayer and got up to take Syd to her bus but she had a ride so i stayed in, slept a bit longer and had breakfast. i wrote, drank coffee, went to pay my rent, paid bills online, went to the grocery store and just laid back. felt a little sick, but it was mostly the bitterness of the cold today. i don't mind it per se, but to move about early in it takes a force of will that i couldn't marshal today. so i stayed in mostly.
i've not seen R still. three days until she leaves for Florida. i believe i'm going to have to expand the boundaries. i can't do exclusive AND lonely. that makes no sense at all. i am going to have to pray on that, because i do love R, but this is getting a bit ridiculous, even for her, especially for me. but we'll see. three days.
i'm sad. don't have much more than that to say. i'm going to sleep now
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