well, today was another one of those limbo days.  but i did manage some productivity.  i started slow, in a cold apartment.  i had breakfast and coffee and almost immediately got to writing, but i went back to bed soon enough.  i was feeling sleepy from the chill, i think.  i'd made plans to see my sponsor today, and had every intention of going to see him.  i went to my mom's house first to get some of the food from my dad's banquet.  from there i dropped off food to my brother and took mine home and then went across town to my sponsor's.  my car is really starting to go, but it will have to last a bit longer.  i visited my sponsor for about two hours then came back home.  on my way to his house i spoke to R, she seemed at that time a little more centered.  when i got back home i made myself some lunch and put together the dish i was going to experiment on yesterday.  it turned out good and i had that for dinner.  i talked to R again and she was back in angry, bitchy mode so i decided to just agree with her and back off, i wrote quite a lot today, and the story is still shaping up better than the first draft did.  i'm almost glad it got semi-deleted, because i would never have gone back and given it the attention it deserves.  i'm going to the Kingdom Hall tomorrow, so i guess i'm going to try to get some decent sleep.  i don't know.  i don't feel bad or good, and i know that this is part of how i feel every year, but i just wish R was here, regardless of her mode, as she would be a nice salve for my spirit.  but, life goes on, as John Cougar Mellencamp famously sang.  thank you for this day, Father, and i think that's about it for me for the day.