i have to ask myself often, just how ungrateful am i? i have all my needs met, all my ask for's are in my hand, and i am feeling sad and alone. i hate this. i hate that i feel this way and i hate the way it lingers. i don't even know what's real. when i go to work, i laugh and i interact with the clients, and they respond, and i don't think their response would be so quick if it was some kind of bullshit i was dealing them. but at the same time, i find myself hoping for someone, ANYone, to show through, just to have another voice to interact with. it's hard. i am alone, but i'm not. and i will find peace, but that's down the road somewhere. it seems to not be for me to know, and i have no choice but to live with that.
the day went fine, the route was easy, the break was restful, and i'm home. i'm about to go to sleep. but i journaled. i have things to do. '...miles to go before i sleep'. god, i hope not.
it was a good day, and if i'm not grateful, i truly should be.
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