Finally his wife said to him: “Are you yet holding fast your integrity?Curse God and die!” But he said to her: “As one of the senseless women speaks, you speak also. Shall we accept merely what is good from the [true] God and not accept also what is bad?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.
Job 2:9, 10
There is no point complaining. I want to, God help me but I do. But I won't.
this has always been one of my favorite scriptures. because it sums up, for me, what gratitude has to be in order to be real. Job was a mess at this point, everything gone, down to his health. his wife was likely just wanting his suffering to end, which indicates just how deep this thing with Satan ran. But Job maintained, he understood that it's not all gravy and cupcakes. the blessing comes in the same life that holds the curse. AND...i can appreciate that it qualifies it...'in all this, Job did not sin with his lips. good to remember.
today, i was having a great day. i'm now reflecting on the good of this day. i got up a bit earlier than i wanted to, that was about the low end of it. but i got up before the alarm, i said my prayer, i was up brewing coffee and moving well. took my meds, ate breakfast, read from the bible and 2 of my meditation books. even had time to put together a tentative cover for the book i'm working on (no harm in pre-advertising, right?) and again, things were moving well. got to work on time, a slow run with half our crew not showing through today. i had a bit of a snag trying to get one client into a place on the bus when i couldn't get the fasteners for his chair secured into the fittings on the floor. but i even took time, learned what i'd bee mistaken about, and was ready to roll on it again tomorrow. i ate a good breakfast, not too bad a lunch, and i was grooving.
maybe it was when i realized i'd lost my gloves somewhere along the way, and am not sure where as the only place i was was on the bus.
i'd have to say it started there. but to sum up: i was talking to Yvette, waiting to go into the Family Dollar. needed gloves, another hat (my winter hat disappeared just as my gloves did today, last month some time), and a sewing kit to fix my coat. i had parked, was talking, when i heard, heard, the blower stop on my car's heater.
this had happened in November as well, and it had been kind of shaky up to the point of it stopping then. but a mechanic my dad found got it back on and told me it needed a switch, that i could get one and he could install it for next to nothing. i bought the switch, but he had got the heat back on, and i decided until i had a better income, i just wouldn't turn the heat off. made sense.
logic dictates this would happen at the worst possible time, because who would give a shit if their heater wasn't working...in summer? except perhaps the defroster, but that would be a bit too progressive thinking. so, i had to start thanking my Father, because exactly as the scripture says up top, too much had been good for me to start losing my mud at that moment. then i began to work on the problem. not to much effect, sadly. no mechanic open at that time, the one guy i found i have to call him tomorrow to see when he can deal with my car. i can't drive it like that, as we're in the middle of an arctic snap right now. but even in this, provisions were in place. at the moment, i have my mother's car. i will make my call tomorrow when i am between drop offs and pick ups so i can see when he can fuck with my car. i have my meeting at noon and back to work after that.
as i said, though, the day wasn't bad. found my blood sugar is still regulating. had a 99 this morning, not too shabby at all. it's going to be tight, though. i only have a bit of money, have some payments still to make and won't be able to wiggle a whole lot. but the point is, the day is what it is. it isn't bad, because bad things happen. it isn't necessarily good, because good things happen. when good things are happening to me, horrible things are happening to many people. trying to label a day as such is almost sociopathic when you look at it like that. i am blessed with life today. sleep must happen. and i thank Jehovah for making sure i got home okay. that's pretty much the deal on any given day.
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