good thursday morning. today started a bit differently. I was planning on hitting the gym at the 530 opening, but when I opened my eyes it was already after five and I was groggy as hell. so i rolled into a prayer that i had to stop because my brain was still fuzzy. i'm going to say, here and now and for the record, that the relaxation vids on youtube work better than any pill i've ever tried as far as a sleep aid. I sleep the night through, maybe wake one time, and when i wake up for the day my creative mind has already been conditioned to write and think and do. i like it a lot. it's a nice addition.
so, i started my prayer and I realized, with my fuzzy brain, i was just churning the spiritual water. so i stopped, picked up my bible and read the 28th chapter in the book of the Acts of the Apostles, and that let me refocus my prayer. there's a story in it about Paul being a prisoner under house arrest in Rome, but also of how when he was gathering wood to add to a fire after he and Luke and other disciples were ship-wrecked on an island, he was bitten by a viper that was hiding in the wood. and they thought him a murderer and that he'd been judged and condemned to die. but when he just shook the snake off and kept doing his thing and didn't die, they changed their minds and thought him a god. that's like the world still is. one extreme to the next and never stopping to see what the reality behind what the eyes are taking in just might be.
i'm drinking good coffee. i'm going to the gym after i take Syd to her bus stop. I'm going to my doctor's appointment. i'm going to consider a phone i found on ebay, which would be perfect as i could get it for 25 dollars for 6 months, or maybe it was 8, but that's very do-able. and i'm going to get something to cook for dinner while i'm out, because dinner must be cooked tonight. i'm trying to get back to the discipline of writing in this journal earlier in the day, so i don't have to just sum up and wrap up at night while i'm sleepy. but part of what that's been about has been living life, and doing things, and not just sitting still waiting for the depression to bang down the door. so, i won't complain too much.
google docs may just be the solution to my word processing issue, and it won't cost me a thing if it is. God provides, always, if i listen to what he's showing me through the people around me.
i got to get started, later on the rest of this noise.
this was a slow down in a bunch of different ways today. like going to my doctor and finding all my numbers are good, a1c down, insulin down, but weight is same loss as the middle of last month. not going to get bummed out, not going to go crazy. then, went to the store rather than to see my sponsor because my brother called, said his dude who works on my car was going to stop by soon to check something for me. so, no visit, and no walk in mill creek. except that this was going to be a sort of slow down day. so i just chilled. made myself lunch from found things in the fridge, rested, wrote just a little, my mother came by and we spoke for a bit, so did my brother.
i am considering what needs to happen as far as my weekend goes. maybe R will make it through, maybe not. but i have to get some other things shaking, under any circumstances. so, thank you, Father, and i got nothing else right now.
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