stronger...

11/1/2016

woke at 430am
prayed
stretched
dressed for gym
drank water
read from bible and meditation books
meditated
updated this log
(first half hour)

had coffee
went to gym

breakfast will be
2 boiled eggs
cheese

blood sugar - 138 waking

blood sugar before lunch - 114
lunch was
2 hamburger patties w cheese
stirfry veggies
soup.

dinner was baked steak strips with onions & mushrooms, half a baked potato and broccoli.


...i feel good.  i feel the changes already.  it doesn't take long when my attitude is in the right place.  I got up and got it started.  430 is a much better time, and i'm going to do it again tomorrow.  i was up, into my prayer and into my gym clothes and ready to stretch and read my meditation books and do my breathing and relaxation and sip my coffee and get my ass to the gym.  it was a good sequence.

i walked on the treadmill today, a mile and a quarter, and my highest heart rate was 143.  i ate breakfast once i got home, and i pulled up the video stuff i'd left onscreen for Old Lazarus and got to work on it.  I did it in the best way i could conceive this time.  i shot footage and figured out where it would go.  i wrote the poem first and that made the footage i needed easier to acquire.  i put the film and pictures together so i would know what kind of music would work best and i marked out different changes in the video for the time when they happened so i would know how to read and what effects i would use.  then i made the beats, did the synth and found the sound effects and put it together.  it runs well, with some parts that i wanted different but until i can upgrade to good software i won't complain about doing good with very little to work with.  that's what faith and maturity is all about, i believe.

anyway, Rachel's gone to the casino, Syd is 'too sick' to do anything for herself, allowed her mouth to get infected because she didn't call for any more antibiotic when she knew she lost a pill along the way.  i am tired, but i'm waiting for Rachel so i can take her home.  my plan is to lift on the weight machines tomorrow.  i'm going to lunch with Lonnie, and that will be a challenge but i'm going to stay responsive.  this isn't just to lose weight.  it's so i can hold up my end of the deal with my God.  and it's not that he made any deal with me.  it's that i am being blessed, and i have been for some time now.  i'm doing good things, working on my business and getting my book sold.  and i've been living like nothing good is happening.  i know my blessings come from God, so that would make that a slap in God's face.  i need to allow myself to accept discipline in my actions.  i need to be willing to sacrifice my selfish desire and my pleasure principles for what is truly beneficial to me.  i understand the meaning now of 'can't have your cake and eat it too'.  i still think it's a stupid saying, but i get the gist of it.  regardless, i'm going to work on me, and i'm going to have faith that i'm on the road to better things.  that's it.  Thank you, Father, and thank you toti, for getting me through another day.