trajectory

man, i'm tired today.  it was a good day, they've been all week so far, but i am tired and about ready to shut it down for the night.  this last thing, though.

I got up late and did not make it to the gym.  Rachel didn't get back until late, and i didn't get to bed until around 130 or so.  sleeping for three or five hours ain't getting it when i am on limited carbs.  i decided i'd just let it go, get there tomorrow, be productive in other ways today.

so i prayed, no stretches.  i checked my blood sugar, 138.  i read my meditations but did not do my breathing focus.  i had breakfast, a two-egg omelet and half an apple.  i ran a bath.  i washed and conditioned my hair, shaved my face, got myself clean and dressed and made my way to the meeting, stopping long enough to get a can of coffee.  the meeting was good, Step 5, admitting to God, self and another person the exact nature of wrongs.  i left early so i could go to lunch with Lonnie.  chicken marsala and broccoli, and a risotto that i only ate half of.  an edible lotus blossom that i ate, it tasted okay.  hope it doesn't kill me.

i went to Aldi's, in time to see my brother leaving the store empty handed.  he went in looking for coffee and could find none.  i told him where it was and went in with him.  i got stuff for my dinner salad and came home.  i was still tired, and i am still tired, but i talked to Syd about an issue she's having with a teacher and i have worked a bit on editing the book.

a girl i know died on Friday.  likely an overdose, but it's not been ascertained yet.  thing is, the dying is so frequent now, it's hard to get worked up about it.  they come, they decide they don't want to be around, that they're 'cured', and then they're gone forever.  but who knows?  maybe that's real human nature.

I am worried about Rachel's gambling, but i've already tried to suggest she get some help.  on that, her counselor and i agree, though her counselor was supposed to see to someone helping her find a GA meeting and that still hasn't happened.

i am going to shut it down.  i AM going to the gym in the morning.  i AM going to try to see my sponsor tomorrow.  I have rent to pay, supplies to purchase and a book to edit.  i'm so tired, i'm misspelling words like its an artform.  thank you, Father.