the next phase...

Summer attempts to steal back under the radar, after the hurricanes.  a warm day, a Sunday, and things are moving with the sullenness of a July day...except it's the middle of September.  it's okay though.  a day of contemplation, of thought and desire, of looking ahead and thinking behind and realizing that change has been occurring and shall continue to occur, because that's what the universe does...it facilitates change, and like a man waiting for the bus, he can either get on and ride the change...get left behind and have to wait for the change to come around again...or stand in the way of change and get run over.  take your pick, pretty much.

today i think i've forgotten my nighttime dose of the antibiotic.  i am not going to get up and take it.  i'll start again in the morning and finish the bottle in 11 days rather than 10.  but i got up and i took it after my prayer.  i read several scriptures, i read a meditation book, i messed around on the computer, i had steak and eggs for breakfast, i realized i'm putting on weight again as i couldn't' fit comfortably into the shirt i got for my birthday, i showered and lotioned and washed my dishes and i made my way to my meeting.

the meeting was okay, the story was 'Our Southern Gentleman', one of my favorites.  a person was there that i don't care for, and i thought about turning around and going home, but i knew that would be the wrong thing to do so i stayed anyway.  i have to remember that the universe does not revolve around me, and that judging someone for thinking the universe revolves around them is pretty fucked up.

after the meeting my friend Marc came over and snaked out the toilet, which seems now to be flushing like a toilet champ.  that makes me happy.  we talked for a bit, and then he left and i cooked my early dinner, perch and cabbage and potatoes with peppers and onions.  i had a small cheesecake for dessert, and a spoonful of peanut butter later.  i talked to Lonnie finally, and i went to my car to excavate the trunk some, but my personal papers aren't in there.  i have to look at my parent's house in the morning, but likely i'm just going to have to go to the school and to the vital statistics department to get replacements for my application/interview on Thursday.  after that, i talked to C for about 2 hours, a ranging conversation that i actually appreciate.  thing is, despite our history, she's always been one person who gave a fuck as to how i am doing at any given time.  that could be a personality flaw on her part; it could be just her good nature is what i mean to say.  she has wounds, and don't we all?  but there are damn few people reaching in, and to have someone who has always been willing to...i think that means something.  so i enjoy talking to her, and i think that's okay.  i don't hear from De'ja, i don't hear from Syd, i miss Rachel but haven't heard from her either.  Lonnie bears the entire burden of my friendship, my counselor is the keeper of my secrets (if i had any) and i've lacked more involvement from other humans.  i'm working on it, but it's good to know someone is willing to be around a bit.

tomorrow.  the blueprint is in place.  the rest is just a matter of putting the day, should i be blessed with awakening, into Jehovah's hands.  i am grateful HIS hands encompass so much.