early in the day so far. i've gotten off to a good start. it's still strange, sometimes. when you start right, the day goes right. not always, but enough of the time to make me believe in such things. i am doing this now, because i'm going to lunch at one and have some straightening to do, and i want to make sure i get this in one way or the other.
i prayed and got dressed for the gym this morning because i wasn't feeling the gym. i was feeling going back to sleep. and i knew that wasn't supposed to happen. when i get up and put on the shorts, i tend to head for the gym. i had coffee and water, took two tylenol and took off about six. put in about 45 minutes, came home, took meds and insulin and had breakfast, sausage, eggs and toast. i watched a little tv, worked on my song a bit more and then got ready for counseling.
today we talked mostly about recovery stuff, about the dysfunction and its effect on me. i can't say it doesn't affect me at all, because of course it does. but it shows me, as i look at it closely, that i've come a long way, and its for the better. i know i can't save the Program. it's not mine to save. i believe that God will make things right or he'll open another door for those who are truly seeking to live good lives without drugs and alcohol. but God didn't assign that to me. and everyone has free will, a choice. i am going to do what i can to walk this thing through, but if it is too toxic, i will leave, because self-preservation is the first law of nature.
i'm going to lunch with Lonnie, then i'm coming home to clean my space. i may stop in on my parents after lunch. my dad sounds sad and my mom is worrying about me as usual. i'll probably add more to this later, but for now, i know it's been a good day and i'm very thankful for that. i hope i remember to stay grateful, and with God's help i will.
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