Blaaaaaah...

...a long, slow day.  a day of no activity that amounted to anything.  there are days such as this, and they come from time to time.  but they are my least favorite days, and i am always in need of some serious movement when they happen.

i got up okay, good sleep with one of the Binaural beats humming in the background.  i said prayers, but i nodded in the middle of my prayer so i knew it was going to be one of those days.  i was moving slow, didn't get anywhere near going to the gym.  i took insulin and meds, and i ate breakfast.  i worked with the bass melody for a song, but i got nothing really done with it, got no better with it.  i have a beat, the bass will create the pocket which will tell me how it should be sung.  but more on that later.

i eventually left, decided i'd try to sell these raffle tickets to the Black Knights police association on Oakland.  but the old fire station looked pretty unkempt.  as if no one had been occupying that space for a while now.  riding through that part of the north side made me really sad, as it is where about 50 percent of my childhood memories went to die.  neither of my grandparent's houses are standing anymore.  i passed a stretch right off the freeway where the wall of a building that was gone before i was of wandering age used to be, and i remembered the blackberries and raspberries we'd pick right from the bush/tree and eat as we walked.  i went past houses whose families i used to know and looked for the alleys we'd travel as kids to get more quickly and quietly from one place to another, but they are still all filled in.  as if we left and there was no longer any need for these things to exist.  the old playground is now a community garden.  all the old stores are gone.  it was like driving through a graveyard.  and i was one of the ghosts.

as i rode through downtown i took film that i wanted to use for an ad, but it wasn't good shots of anything.  what i really wanted was to park and get some shots of people, but i couldn't find a parking place.  so i took them in motion, went to save them to Google Drive and deleted the video only to find not one of them uploaded to my cloud and now they're gone.  i have no film to work with.

i visited my mom, talked with her for a bit while i tried to retrieve my vids.  i went to Sav-a-Lot to get somethings to make spaghetti for dinner.  i got some wings for my lunch and had them with a salad.  that was the end of my pretense at productivity today.  i talked to Rachel, i napped, and i laid around.  the spaghetti was good and now i'm going to sleep so i can get my ass up and to the gym in the morning.  i am still grateful to God, as i know many weren't even able to open their eyes this morning.  time to go.