lifeschool

well, this is a day of learning, i have to say.  its stressful, exciting, nerve-wracking and it makes me aware of the growth that is still taking place in me.  i am grateful to God for this day, and i couldn't ask for anything more.
to start, i've not been to the gym, but i am definitely going tomorrow.  i got up with nerves jangling.  said my prayers, got syd out the door, had breakfast and started my search.  today was car day.  i was going out to find a car.  i wanted to finish my paperwork for the credit union loan app and so i got dressed and headed out the door.
i went south, rode up south avenue to western reserve road.  i felt that was the best course, as once upon a very long time ago, the first car that i got in recovery i actually abandoned on the side of the road up there, never went back for it either.  i was a whole different person then, and i guess i felt maybe i could find what grew where i planted the seed of what would become a more mature Tim.  so i went.  almost got hit on south ave and midlothian and saw some lots on south avenue but i kept going.  i found a lot up there had had a couple vehicles i wanted to look at.  i turned around and went to the one i saw.  there was a lovely 08 Envoy that i checked out, it had some interior wear, only to the extent you could see a family used the car, but no destruction.  immaculate body.  it was a bit pricey for my budget but i decided to try.  i went to a meeting at noon and came home.  i finished a new application as the loan site lied about saving the previous ones.  i got two calls from the credit union.  one was clarifying certain information and the other was saying that the loan amount was declined.  i was almost a bit salty, but i talked to Lonnie who told me to ask them what would be approved, which i did.  so, instead of the 12 grand i asked for, they'll loan me 6, which i can surely work with.
i feel so excited.  just like the credit cards, this is the first time i've actually put any work into this.  i guess the thing about growing up is you continue to do it until its all over.  i don't mind.  i also made a beef stew, put free ads on two sites and invited my brother to breakfast tomorrow morning.  it's been a good day, and i am not going to make less of it at all.  i still have to pray on what Melona is supposed to be as far as a message thus far, but all things in God's time, not mine.  Out.