it's a blessing to know you're growing and getting better. what makes it a blessing, at least to me, is that i am often my own worst critic, and to be someone who can see that there is some improvement happening is a bright spot on my horizon, and it's getting closer.
so i got up, after a night of diarrhea, gout and general aching, and i felt a tad better, though the liquid continued to pour. i said prayers and got out of the bed. i saw syd off to school and i had a bacon and egg sandwich. i got back to my car search and began getting ready for the trip to Akron.
brother came through at 9 and we went to Akron. found our way there, but the lack of good sleep (being careful not to shit the bed, literally, removes the depth of sleep) made me have to quick-correct directions often. but we got to the lot. the axiom proved true: everything looks better when it's in a motion blur or a well-staged picture. the Lincoln looked much better from a distance. it wasn't the surface scars i was worried about though. when i tested it, it wasn't steering properly. I've had cars do that, and i knew the problem was somewhere in the drive train, something going bad. when i spoke to the dealer about it, he said some bullshit about it not being a standard power steering pump on that car and that everything was cool. that killed the deal for me. nevermind the trash in the trunk, the key fob not working, the interior drivers side handle being stripped of part of the molding, but mechanical issues being lied about i can't deal with. i came home, somewhat disheartened but glad that i didn't just throw myself into something. so i got in, said several 'your will be done, Father', and after talking to Lonnie made my way to the shop i was looking for yesterday.
i got there and checked a Dodge Avenger and was about to test drive it when the owner pulled up and said it was sold. i told him about the Grand Marquis i saw online and he said he'd just taken it to the body shop, that he had a spot for them to work on and he'd raise the price afterward. i said i'd like to see it. we test drove it and it handled as nice as the Crown Vic i absconded to Columbus in back in 97. a sign, as much a sign as starting the journey on Western Reserve Road. i told him i wanted it, went to the credit union to be told that they couldn't find my credit application. finally the located it, other issues ensued, and as i was finally eating a late lunch they called me and said the car was mine and i could come finish the paperwork which i plan to do in the morning. it will cost me less than 100 a month for four and a half years. and i am going to put the Cavalier into rehab, to try to get it up to snuff within the next year for Syd should she want it. i feel good. i feel blessed. and i am very happy with my choice. as an 01, it's an older car, but i don't care. it fits, it runs and its cheap enough i can have it paid off early and build more credit. and as David Byrne said, nothing is better than that. or is it?
anyway, the gym, tomorrow for sure. and then, on to life on life's terms. thank you, Jehovah, for instilling patience in me.
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