Lingering

exhausted by the end of yesterday.  self-care high up on the 'to-do' list for today.  still in bed at six a.m., if that's any indication for those who know my itinerary.

not a bad day by any stretch, not in any way.  i had a bad sleep yesterday, not a much better sleep today.  i got up, said my prayers, got moving to make coffee.  i got myself dressed and got breakfast in me.  read the lesson in the Watchtower and i helped my mom as i could.  we went to the Kingdom Hall and i actually stayed awake through the whole thing.  didn't know if i would.  it wasn't that i was bored, though sitting long spells in religious sessions has never been thrilling for me.  but the bad sleep involved leg cramps and gout/neuropathic pain all through the night, waking me so often i was up cursing more than sleep.  so, it wasn't restful or refreshing by any stretch.

after the Hall, i took my mom home, got my car and went to the CA meeting.  stopped to get chips and pop, as i had not cooked anything for the potluck.  good enough meeting.  tired of people again, i can't lie about that.  after the meeting i went to pick up Rachel and we hung out for the rest of the day.

i've said and meant that i am not going to continue to try to do things at my suggestion, as it has seemed Rachel is not going to put any ideas on the table.  i'm pretty much in favor of that still.  i don't want to put her on front street, but i want a participant, not a passenger.  passengers are not for relationships.  i told her i wanted her to take some pictures of me for Z-Phyles, she offered to do it on Sunday.  she offered to bring food so she could eat with the family, she asked could she do a load of clothes.  she was over until about 8, and it was pleasant.  we talked some, we spent time, my mom and dad enjoy having her over.  we grilled ribs and burgers, i made a chicken broccoli alfredo, and we had a good evening.

by the end of the day, my knees were still hurting, i was still not over this flare up.  i woke once with cramps, in my right foot, toes curled under.  perhaps a potassium issue again, i don't know.  think i'm going to get myself a potassium glutamate supplement.  self-care, proactively.  it can't hurt.

i have an interview today.  i'm waiting to hear back from CCA about a start date or the results of my drug test.  i am not going to get into anything too heavy today...just don't feel it for the most part.  just the business at hand and the stuff i am able to do.  that will have to be enough.  i need a day of rest, to be honest.

i am grateful for everything yesterday was, and I will try to remain grateful for everything today is going to be.  thank you Father.