reflective day

it's been a long day.  i forgot to get back on this yesterday, and need to update and do a complete write on today.  i have an early start for tomorrow so i really need to be more on point.

yesterday, Rachel and i hung out together for most of the day.  she cleaned my bathroom so i could give her an estimate of what i would be willing to pay for her cleaning services.  we ate and we talked and we did things and it was fun and i took her to pick up her daughter from work and i dropped them off.  i got gas and i went and grabbed some Arby's for dinner and i ate some chips and half a turkey sandwich afterward.  my legs were cramping from the things we did and it took me awhile to get to sleep but finally i did.

today i got up and i said my prayers.  i didn't go to the gym.  my brother called me for a jump as he'd left his lights on in his car.  i went to give him a jump, came home and took insulin and meds and had two pancakes and three eggs for breakfast.  i read some and worked on getting my audio uploaded onto facebook, which was nigh unto impossible.  so i got it on tumblr and i got a page set up on my publishing page and i linked those into facebook.  the voting is coming slow, but i anticipated that as well.  i need a massive amount of votes later, rather than have a great effort in the beginning and then nothing at the end.

anyway, i went to counseling, which was nice.  talked about a lot of world condition stuff, the lost art of thinking.  it makes me sad sometimes, realizing that things aren't going to get any better.  but i'm getting better, so at least one thing is getting better.  and if one thing can, more things can.  that's just logical, though not practical.

i went to visit TF after counseling.  she's not doing any better.  she looks haunted, she looks like she's sick.  i wonder if she's using heroin again, but she'll have to volunteer that information to me.  i'm not going to pull any teeth or twist any arms.  i will help those who want help.

i came home, got the last of the green beans on for Lonnie's daughter's graduation party, and my brother texted me to tell me he and my mother were headed home.  i was about to fix lunch, but i went for cheap eats from the taco bell instead, as it was quicker and i had to get too many things done.  got arrangements set to take my baby brother to the airport tomorrow, got myself home, finished green beans, laid down for a non-sleeping nap, and went to the graduation party.

i sat outside with the dj.  i realize as time goes on i know fewer of my friend's people.  that doesn't bother me, but i hate trying to manufacture interest in strangers.  so i sat with the dj, whom i knew, and we caught up on old times.  i thought about something that might be beneficial to my publishing company, but more on that once i check on it a bit deeper.

i'm home now, obviously.  i am about to lay it down, set an alarm for three-thirty in the fucking morning.  my brother Jerry won't be riding, i won't put him through something that will cause him discomfort.  i have to remember to take a travel mug of coffee.  i'm hoping for Rachel's company tomorrow.  i am hoping that i get there and back safely.  i thank Jehovah for a day that has been full and fulfilling creatively.  good night.