heroes

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/bernie-worrell-parliament-funkadelic-keyboardist-dead-at-72-20160624

i keep missing days, which is frustrating.  i'm not doing it deliberately, but i'm kind of still processing some blues, some grief and some anger, and it's distracting to say the least.  the good thing is, i'm human.  but the bad thing is, you miss enough days of your orbit, you may find yourself not knowing where the fuck you are.  i'm not there yet, by God's grace, so i'm going to do better.

today is a sad day.  one of my very foremost heroes, Mr. George Bernard Worrell, or Bernie, as the world knew him, passed on today.  he was the original keyboardist for the group Funkadelic.  he was a genius, a prodigy as a child, classically trained and tuned in to the world for his creative influences.  i loved his music.  i met him for the first time in Columbus.  he was playing with his bad, the Woo Warriors, and it was at a little club in the Short North district.  they tore it up, like nobody's business, and i got to talk to him and his wife, Judy, after the show.  Bernie blessed my daughter, Sydney, in her mother's stomach, actually laid hands on and gave his blessing.  in the top five greatest moments of my life so far.  his pieces, Tales of Kidd Funkadelic and Atmosphere, reek of his classical training and his eclectic sensibilities in marrying the profound and the profane in most beautiful ways.  he lived longer than his spiritual sibling, the very great Eddie Hazel, the heir to the Hendrixian throne who passed in 92 of liver failure.  but there is a hole in the spirit of the earth now, a hole big enough that it actually encompasses the one left by Prince, though perhaps only equal to the one left by Bowie.  he was that amazing.  he was one of my heroes, and i have damn few, and i don't think any of them are still alive now.  what do you do when all your heroes are dead?  my sponsor, though heroic, is not my hero.  my father is a hero, but he is someone i have to watch over, have since i got sober and aware because of those who would 'borrow' from his reputation for their own selfish and greedy purposes.

i prayed and got up and went to the gym.  i walked a mile on the treadmill.  i came home and worked on some things on the computer, or i fucked around on facebook.  can't remember which right now.  i went to breakfast with Marc, i went to my parent's house, i washed a load of clothes, i took my dad around to Radio Shack to see about new home phone service and i came back home.  i cleaned my house.  i made my dinner.  i paid my phone bill.  i went to take Rachel to see about a friend of hers who is trying to get some help with some heavy issues.  i am just back in this house not an hour ago.  i'm exhausted, and i feel my mind is full of data that needs to be processed.  i'm tired of being sad now.  thank you, Father, for allowing me to be where i needed to be and do what i needed to do.  i also got to counseling today, but i was nodding through it so i wasn't a very good client.  good night.