Beginning Thoughts

good Monday morning.  it's the 18th day of March.  it's a cold morning, according to the temperature my body feels in my house.  it is going to be a long-ish day, as i have slept but not the entire night through.  i am hesitant in beginning, but i will begin, because that's what i have to do today.

i hate that my mind has gotten to the point where, apropos of its valid experiences, i consider whether i want to go to work the entire week this week.  it's not as bad as waking up and wanting to not go to work day by day, but it's still not ideal.  last year, regardless of events, i got up and got ready and went to work, no desire or reluctance either way.  work was work and not work was not work.  now, i was thinking perhaps tomorrow i would call off.  i don't like that kind of thinking, so i'm going to start putting more positive events into my conscious space.

yesterday was the meeting, and it went well.  we celebrated Marc having another year around the planet, with fajitas and cakes, and it was a nice change of pace.  then i went to visit Nancy, Johnnie's wife.  i stayed a couple hours, mostly listening, and i thought about the things she's going through, her own grief that she's not going to speak to too many people about.  she is a caregiver by nature, so she's not one to just open up about her feelings, but she talks quite a bit because she has no one to talk to.  and i can relate to that.  so i listened.  and i came home, and i ate and i put it down for the day and most of the night.  and now it's morning.

i showered and shaved yesterday, so i'm just in need of readings and medication, of coffee and clothes and getting in my car to go.  i'm going to keep this day simple.  i'm going to take a walk today between runs, it's time to get active again.  and i'm going to log at the Dining Room, my meals of yesterday, because i've been doing pretty good.  all in all, i'm grateful for a long weekend and a job to go to, and i say thank you, Father, and i move it along.