this has been a rough day. i have to detail this shit out, because i need some solutions, some resolution and some straight up understanding asap.
to start with, the lad on the left is, of course, me. that is going to be the cover of my new poetry collection which will be released on my birthday. it's entitled FIFTY, and it is exactly what it may sound like it is. but that's neither here nor there. look at the gang signs before there were even any crips or bloods, hahahahahaha!
anyway, today. what was wrong with me? i was sluggish and dull. i dragged my ass out of bed and just got dressed, didnt' even think about showering or shaving or anything else. i got dressed in yesterday's clothes and ate a little and had half of a half cup of coffee and got my ass out the house. i'd also said my prayers and taken my meds, read my books, so i felt i was on good ground. but i was apparently wrong.
starting off, i have hbd and diabetes, to that end i take water pills. so to not go to the bathroom around the clock is an accomplishment, but it couldn't last forever. i peed 2 times before i left home and two times at the shop and STILL had to pee on the first runs. that was a constant theme of my morning. pissed at a store, pissed at the first workshop we took clients to, pissed at the back of my parent's driveway and pissed twice at my parent's house. i was still pondering my friend's death and was just not tracking very well.
i decided i needed to start again. not to mention really needed a wardrobe change. so i went to the gym, went home and showered. i changed clothes. i made myself a salad. i took trash out. i got a wrap from the food truck to go with my salad. i got back to work and the rest of the day went rather smoothly.
now, i think i need to change the order in which i take my medicine. in the early morning, i'm taking both a blood pressure pill and a diuretic. i'm fairly sure that has a lot to do with me having to go to the bathroom so much. so tomorrow i'm going to hold off on both those pills, and after we finish the first series of runs i'll take them and get on with the day. difference is, when i take them, i'm having to pee constantly, like my body just says 'fuck it, get rid of any water from the last 24 hours', or something like that. so, we'll see. got to keep making the necessary changes, so i can get better with the things i do.
i finished the manuscript for TO DECEMBER, and i'm working on the poetry for FIFTY. they should be released together. i'm glad to be writing. glad to pay bills. glad to have shelter from the storm. i thank Jehovah for all these blessings, and the protective blessings that i am not even aware of. more tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment