Return to Routine, pt 2

 well, it's monday now.  a new day.  a new reality.  something gone, something important, something vast in my own reality.  but...something here, something new and different and something vital, something that has to be maintained as well.  continuance.  a very important thing to remember in the coming days that remain.  

and it is about the days that remain.  it's about what time is now, and what time is approaching, if i am blessed (?) to awaken to it.  it is about being awake, not lulled by my stomach or my groin, not seduced by the ease and popularity of stupidity, but awake and alert to the changes that the wind brings.  'you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows'.

yesterday was just a journey.  it was going on with life.  going to breakfast with Marc.  going to my Sunday meeting.  going to the grocery store.  making dinner for Syd and Joe and Timothy.  talking to Lonnie and Rachel.  calling my mom.  thinking about Johnnie.  grooming for today.  reading and thinking, hearing verses and voices and allowing both to speak in my head, to see what stories i should be working on.  it's what life is, it is what it is.  

like, i was thinking this morning; we took up a collection to send to World Service as opposed to donating to Nancy for Johnnie's passing.  and i thought, how big did he get in the Fellowship?  and i know he was bigger than a lot of people knew.  but that didn't matter.  it didn't matter to him, and it doesn't matter to people now.  time passes and even presidents become notorious or irrelevant on the basis of the skew of human perception.  but he supported the foundation of genuine recovery all his sober life, that i know.  and that's reason enough.  

i hope my grandson never has to rely on the shambles of a 12-step program.  i hope he never finds himself with an addiction and has to try to muddle through the bullshit and stupidity that greed and arrogance has reduced the Program to.  but if he does, i hope that someone like my sponsor is there for him, to help him sort through the chaos and find the thread of order to guide him through the days and months and years to come.  that would be good.

prayers for Maryanne, as she needs them.

i have to get going.  time to make the day move.  

Thank you, Father, for seeing me through the weekend, and back to the daily grind.