i do sometimes. been a lot of different folks, been a lot of iterations. who i am now is not either on of these gentlemen. neither of them is the same. i stole both of their shirts, though. 😂
seriously though, this was a pretty good day. but even the best of days comes with some thought, some reflection. today is no different. the weather is inching towards winter. last week i had on shorts briefly and was sweating a bit. now it's going to be about 39 tonight, they say, won't get to but mid-50's tomorrow. so i am pensive. did i waste the summer complaining? probably. summer was miserable. winter's going to be miserable too. c'est la vie.
i had a decent day. a client's birthday. i got him a $40 gift card for Red Lobster. i was informed we only do $15 gift cards for our clients. i don't think you can even get an appetizer at the lobster for fifteen. so i took care of him. it's cool.
i talked to my sponsor this evening. he and his wife had Hospice come by today. i'm sad, fuck. this fucking journey don't end well for any of us, because it ENDS, and everything deteriorates and then falls away. i can't objectively say he's one of the best men i've ever known, because you can't be objective with someone who taught you most of what you know. but i know he has been every kind of role model i needed, when i needed it. i know i want him not hurting. and i know it makes me sad as a motherfucker.
i had lunch and dinner, i'm going to take a shower, shave carefully (no more bloodbaths) and get ready for tomorrow. nothing left to do. log my food intake at the Dining Room. i saw my mom and dad. talked to Lonnie, talked to SH, my sponsee. just bed and the next day. and gratitude, for provisions, for breath and for the years gone by. thank you, Father.
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