into the unknown known...

i'd been wanting to take this picture for a minute now, and i'm glad i got it on a day where the sky is that shade of blue, cause we don't have many of those days, warm days anyway, left this year. 

this tree, an old tree, is on the property which i guess still belongs to my mother's family.  next to it once stood my grandparent's house.  my OTHER grandparent's house.  it is on a street named Oakland, running parallel to 422 on the north side of Youngstown, Oh.  i have memories of the house, but they're vague now.  i can remember certain things at certain times, but the entirety of it eludes me.  same with the tree.  there were apple trees in the backyard, what would be considered a small courtyard, i guess, between the house and the garage.  but one was blown over in a near-tornado, and the other i can't exactly remember what happened to it.  i know they were both down by the time my grandparents died.  there was a crabapple tree in the backyard as well, served as first base when we played kickball.  and there was this tree, which was on the side of the house, facing the street, between their house and the one next door. 

it was very lush, my grandmother loved things growing and green.  when i pass by, i always look.  there is the presence of ghosts there for me, same as here.  and the same as well, not all of them have died.  just the ghosts of a spirit that used to sustain us, i suppose.  well, this tree is now indicative of just how much loss that spirit has suffered. 

the tree is broken.  some storm, some wind, something came along and showed the tree that it was not eternal.  that it was not impervious, if it ever was, definitely no longer. 

i was riding past on my way to work, two days ago i think, and i saw the tree and thought...'My family tree is broken'...and the thought made me incredibly sad.  and why wouldn't it?

this will be a poem soon, but its one of those poems that i have to do right, i have to do justice to it.  there is too much inside that poem waiting to be born right now.

i didn't write yesterday.  it was a short day, and i came home, ate and ended up asleep. 

i am sneezing now, i'm going to take some cold medicine and try to crash. 

one more full day this week, then one short short day, and then the weekend. 

i'll be getting back to the regularly scheduled blog tomorrow.  i am thankful to Jehovah for things transpiring right now.