more changes

a very long day today, no two ways about it.

started out good enough.  prayer, meditation books, medicine.  hurting though, gout flare intense, just grabbed what was available and got dressed for work.  the route was the normal business as well.  then the differences began to set in.

went to brunch with Rachel, which was very cool.  some of us is the same, a lot of us is different still.  went to my meeting, felt Johnnie's absence there for the first time, though he hadn't been to a meeting at the Fellowship hall in months and months, hadn't been there regularly for years.  ended up crying as i commented on Step 2 (came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity), again just feeling how much things have changed in my spiritual environs.  left the meeting early to go back to work.

got back ot my job site to find that our Ops Director has been removed, with her stuff on the curb waiting for her husband to pick her up.  a somber air in the facility, and the chords of dissidence and incipient racist undertones grew louder.  i did my route and ignored the motherfuckers for the most part, but i felt really bad for the way they ousted her and it was sadness on top of sadness.

came home, had some of my soup, took stuff for my pain and laid it back down again.  just woke up, feel like i slept for 8 hours though it has only been about 3 or so.  going back shortly, but wanted to get this in.  i'm thankful to God for life and for all that it contains for the living.