Confrontation

sometimes you have to be the bad guy.  life just works that way.  you have to be the bad guy because there is no way things are going to get done by being a 'good guy'.  you have to be the bad guy because people think, THINK, they're getting over the 'good guy' you're trying to be.  or, sometimes, you got to just say 'fuck it', go for broke and accept the title that comes with taking car of the business at hand.

today i got up early, weary as fuck but up for the day at 3.  i got it moving slowly, but i knew there were things i'd have to get done this morning and i didn't want to end up running behind.  some things i should just tend to the night before.  i cut myself real nice shaving my head this morning, literally extracted a section of my scalp from the razor.  bleeding like a small sieve.  got done with what i could, showered, took my meds and read my stuff and got it out the door.  had to get gas for my car, had to get gas for my bus.  the morning runs weren't bad, but early in i was still wrestling with the questions from the day before.  what should i do about the clients who were being far too handsy with one female client on the bus?  so i again told them i wanted them to chill out, and that didn't happen well.  but my plan was to talk to my employer, see what the parameters are, and act accordingly, which is how the thing ended.  but that's later down the line. 

i went to my parent's house, made them breakfast, made mom coffee.  i hung out there for a bit, then i went back to work for my extra run.  got that done, had some chili Da Boss brought for me for lunch, and i finished the day.  before we got rolling, i had THE TALK with the principle people in this drama. 

i told them i didn't appreciate being ignored, that i was trying to give them some leeway but they were taking things too far, and that if they didn't chill out i would separate all of them.  i also told them i would do that if they started shunning the girl they'd been so attentive to before now.  i don't know if they're actually going to listen, but i do know that i am serious about dealing with this.  i don't really care about touchy-feely shit, as these are individuals whose options for 'happily ever after' are fairly limited and i don't want them to not be able to have some small happiness or pleasure in their lives.  but i won't tolerate someone being abused.  my thought keeps running back to a simple consideration:  if she was my child/daughter, what would i want the driver to do?

i talked to Rachel today.  talked to her yesterday as well.  she's supposed to come over on Saturday.  i'm not sure if i'll survive, but i know if i don't i'll die happy and content. 

thank you, Father, for life and love.