out of town bound...

next week it begins.  a new chapter, forced to be written by necessity of culture, color, age and health.  fear grows like mold on the inside of my spirit, but i continue on.  but i'm going to give myself a respite, even at the expense of some things i'd much rather do.  and that's where it's at right now.

i had a good day today. relatively pain free for the past two days.  slept well, got up sleepy but that was more due to the perfect sleep night than to any other factor.  i prayed, had coffee, ate a peach, read my scriptures and meditation books and ate leftover pizza and took my meds.  i got dressed, got to work and got the day done.  no more eventful than that today.  between runs, i visited Syd and LZ, i had lunch with Lonnie and i thought about my life.  much the same as yesterday, except then i did a load of clothes and i went to my meeting.

now i'm gathering up clothes for my trip.  i seem to be on the wrong side of most of my friends and family today, and i wonder if my apprehension about the upcoming tests is starting to leak out into my spiritual groundwater supply.  i would have to say, if everyone seems to have an issue with me, likely i have an issue.  but for now, i just want to get on the road.  i was going to rent a car, but i did reserve a room and dropping four bills off rip just to hang out with De'ja and maybe VB is wasteful and profoundly stupid.  so, keep the room, drive my car or borrow my mom's depending on it's availability.  but it's cool.  i just want to work on this song, have some dinner with De'ja, get some rest, think some thoughts, maybe do some writing and come back ready to be prodded and violated and tested.

for now, i feel pretty good.  going to tidy a bit, get packed and chill until.  counseling tomorrow, a good thing.  thank you, Father, for your patience with me.