it happens, regardless of your state of being.
babies change into people, the dead change into dust. flesh moves to spirit, and sometimes, spirit moves toward fleshy things.
change happens. the one constant in the entirety of creation is change.
yesterday was a bad day.
got the prelims done, but i was feeling pretty rocky. i'd already changed my appointment for the biopsy and my appointment with my GP, but when i woke up i had no energy, breathing was labored and my strength was negligible. still, got my ass to work. almost fell crossing the parking lot.
i sent a text to the 2nd in command about how i was feeling and asked for a sub driver for the afternoon. i was in no shape or mood to deal with bullshit on any level, and i knew it. i got a text back that she'd see if she could find a sub. i got through the runs and went to my parent's house, where i fixed breakfast sandwiches and dinner items for them both. i took a low-power nap and went to my meeting, where i was late because my mom had several things she asked me to check out at the last minute. the meeting was already pretty well set up and i got our stuff from the locker and got the chair working on the format and i left early enough to get my ass back on the hop, being that i'd heard nothing about a sub driver...
until i got back to work, that is. then the woman who rode with me on Monday said she'd been instructed to drive my route in the afternoon. but no one had called or texted to tell me. so my temper ran high. then i went to confront my boss about it and the crazy ))))) who seems to always get under my skin was jumping in the boss's face with some more arrant, trivial stupidity, and i said a profound string of curse words and stormed out to my bus and got the route finished. i then came home, worn out, hurting with the onset of a gout attack as well. but i talked to a driver before i left the work property, and that calmed me down some. later i decided to call my boss and make an amend, which i did, and i received an apology in return, which was nice. that was the meat of the day.
today, i got up hurting, started treating the gout but it is slow going, i'm beginning to acclimate to the prednisone, i can tell. anyway, i got showered, ate, read, took meds and got to work. i of course started it with prayer. i stopped at Wal-Mart on my way. i've learned that when i'm truly angry at people, it's hard to maintain it when you're doing something nice for them, so when i am angry at you and indifferent, you've really gotten far into my ass. just so you know. anyway, got the real Boss an ambrosia apple, got the idiots mini muffins, got to work and put on a pot of coffee and got my bus pre-checked and ready to roll. the ))))) was in early and putting on her show, actually jumping in the middle of a conversation i was having, which tells me she's trying to find a way to compromise me. but i have the answer for that already.
anyway, the route was easy enough, it's my older brother's birthday, which i wished him a happy one, i came home for lunch because i had nothing else i really had to do, at some point Syd texted me that she was at her grandparent's house and likely wasn't going back to be with Joe, but when she called she was heading back there, i ate lunch and dinner here, and i'm about to go to sleep. i managed to start working on a song, get an enlarged copy of our Wednesday format typed up, printed and in my meeting bag, and i need to wash some clothes. i feel...altered, somewhat. i'm not even going to fix my mouth to say i feel 'better', but i did do something different today, and it felt good. so, we'll see what tomorrow brings. but i'm so grateful for the day, and for the change to something...other. that's nice.
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