sorry about yesterday. i ran a double run in the morning, took more out of me than i expected, and i had my meeting and the end of the work day and i was up early so i was beat up and down when i got home from work. i ate and laid it down involuntarily i think, and i slept until one in the morning...
when i woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. so i am getting this started now, and i'm going to keep my ass up a bit longer so i can sleep with some authority tonight.
no recap. today i was up too early, tried to go back to sleep but that didn't happen. so i got up about 3, said my prayer, got into the kitchen and had breakfast and medicine and meditations and scriptures before 4am, and i got myself dressed and ready and was out the door by my normal time. i got to work a bit early but not as much as on Tuesday, and Darlene was already there so i went in, got my paperwork and my keys and i got my pre-trip done. no extra-runs today. i worked on a bassline that i'd been wanting to get done this morning before i left as well, just want to include that as i'm working on some music when i'm done with this and the Dining Room. speaking of which, my uncle Kenny got me new kitchen chairs and a new dining room table, courtesy of his auction and i am blessed abundantly by his kindness and love, thank you Jehovah.
so, the route. early was easy, but one client, the one who's been rather troublesome lately, got on agitated and remained that way. it's not hard to tell when he is: he held poor A hostage with an unbroken litany of questions, and A is a pretty reserved guy, answers when questioned and tends to just watch the scenery pass. C, the troubled one, is not. but there is so much i don't know about him, though there's quite a bit that i do as well. anyway, made my pick-ups and C was agitated, and T, my client in a wheelchair, was in some trepidation about picking him up, which was unusual for me. but i remained cool about it.
well. after the morning runs, i went to my parent's house, took the briefest of naps, took a meat loaf my mom felt was far from good and transformed it into a pot of chili. she didn't want me to buy the groceries to make the chili but i told her they were currently struggling possibly more than i am, which is ironic, and that i was not going to spend a ton of money for that privilege, just 5 bucks or less, which i did. two cans of chili beans, a can of kidney beans, a can of crushed red tomatoes, a box of Jiffy corn bread mix and a dozen eggs, came to 4 and some change. not bad. i went back, made chili, saw my niece Donna and her youngest child and i went to grab myself some lunch. then back to work.
the afternoon runs. what a difference a couple hours makes. or not. as i said, C has been winding up all week. he's been more erratic in his conversation, more needy, more yelling/screaming than singing. he's been overtalking my conversations with anyone else. i have so many theories about this, but theories don't change situations. today he went off, again, and this time i can say with assurance i did nothing to provoke him, though i'm now certain i didn't last time either. he is terrorizing his family as well, and has been for days and days, so i'm sure it wasn't me. but in the end, another incident report, another call to his SSA, and more meds. and that sucks. because though it does no good, my theory is based on observation and intake of the data C constantly expresses. i think he has some damage between himself and his father, that he desires his father's approval if he can get it, his attention if he can't, and on that note he's winning but he has no boundaries. he is not attention deficit; i don't believe he is. i believe he is getting for him a deficit of attention, and i believe he has crossed the border between being a spoiled fucking brat to being sociopathic, if the autistic can ever be truly labeled as such. regardless, he is a treat, to myself, to the other clients. and i'm sure they're going to end up having to lock him away again, which makes me sad in a way. i just want him to settle back down.
anyway, the itinerary for now: write this, work on music, possibly work on my new story today, if not, in the a.m., make my dinner, take my shower and shut it down. i am grateful, i have done the right thing according to my office and C's dad, and i am going to keep him in my prayers. thank you Jehovah, for a day coming to its close.
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