What Is This?

I don't know why I didn't write yesterday. I was tired, I was on the road in the evening, I was driving most of the day as it turns out. I did not bring a laptop, and writing on the phone is usually pretty tedious. But I want to update anyway. I'm going through something pretty rough right now. I have been down, in ways that I have not felt depressed in a long time. I have no doubt some of this is due to the upcoming biopsy. I have no doubt some of this is due to the past year and the anniversaries that tend to Echo in my mind. But I know that's not all of it.
Yesterday wasn't a bad day. But it would be bad. I got my stuff together in the morning and I got to work. I ate, prayed, read, and took my medicines. Work was not eventful, which is always a good thing. I guess from the middle of the day I started feeling the heaviness of it. Speaking to my counselor usually brings that on these days. And I don't mean to suggest that my counselor is depressing me. What I mean is, counseling is a place of being more honest and I seem to live at this time in the zone of depression management. That kind of ends when I start talking about how I'm feeling.
But maybe that's what I need to do. Maybe if I could pull more of the stuff out of me and bring it out into the open, maybe that would give me some relief. I don't know for sure. I know the end of the day I was sad, over thoughtful. I know I wanted to get here to think. And I know now, I feel like I'm thinking too much. I got something to eat, I'm laying in this bed, and it's like being at home. So it's time to do something different. I don't know what that is just yet, I have some plans for this evening, and maybe I'll find the answers in new activity. I am grateful, however, to God for all the blessings and for my life.