The Undertow

another day done.  sleep has crept upon me, swept me under like a castle on the edge of a beach at high tide, but i am awake and must maintain continuity.  i have not resumed 'The Dining Room' yet, as i am still wrestling against myself for that discipline.  but something is going on, something is out of congruity within me.  as i am now coming home, eating dinner and going into a deep sleep.  it's been happening that way for the last couple of weeks at least.  i need to address it , and i shall, but there are things to deal with in the course of a day and they shall be dealt with as well.  at least i am logging as i should here.

prayers said this morning, breakfast eaten and medicine ingested.  the day was a good one, moved through it smooth enough.  saw my parents and fixed breakfast for them.  saw my brother briefly, but i've been going through the sleep thing on the bus as well.  guess i'm just not under deep enough, just not free from this lethargy since i can't get back to a more healthy intake of caloric matter.  anyway, i did the day, i made it home, i am in my bed.  i shall do the gym tomorrow should i be blessed with life.  i shall work on my house, i want to get the living room done.  i think, if i get one room done, the rest will come together. 

i've had to remind myself that i have a commitment to the future here, that the past can take care of itself as it always has.  i can't keep longingly looking backward, not at Rachel, not at old friendships, not at any of it.  people are strange, whether you're a stranger or not, that's the truth.  so i move on from here.  i say thank you to Jehovah for discernment and guidance, and i return to sleep once more, i'm pretty sure.