Want to get this in before i leave today. it's Tuesday morning now. I should have done this yesterday evening, but i shut down early, tired, still struggling with this cold. yesterday was pretty textbook, except for the exhaustion. i got up and said prayer and ate and took medicines and read meditations and bible. i've been working on Job lately; i love the realization that it is a story that Moses was telling rather than a tale of an actual person. i got dressed and took trash out and clothes to be washed and my bag with my notes for the route and got to work. i was tired and annoyed, but i didn't let that get in the way. i was also thinking, to be honest, about how to get out of this job and into something else, just because the weariness i'm feeling seems to be trying to dictate something to me. but i did the route, i remembered my directions from four days prior and got everyone there on time. that made me feel good. we had a meeting after the morning runs; things changing again for no real good reason, but da Boss raised the point of us needing real policy on stopping at railroad crossings, as well as some idiotic notion that someone has espoused that we can strap wheelchairs in sideways in order to 'more efficiently utilize space', is what it sounds like to me. i listened, interested, but only slightly. i'm not going to buckle anyone in sideways to make room for additional chairs when we don't even have aides to help with the people we already have to drive and look out for.
i got to my parent's house, got clothes into the wash and talked to my mom for a bit. she was worried, which is what she does. strange things happening there as well, something with my sister and her daughter, but i'm not asking for details and am staying out of it. my mother, as so many of us, seems to need drama to thrive, and i just refuse to partake in that. i got my clothes into the dryer, got most of my turn by turns done on the house computer and i gathered my things and got back to work. the afternoon was longer, having to work with my wheelchair client who is very specific in his needs from his driver (really could use an aide with him) and a train in Lordstown that blocked the tracks for the better part of ten minutes going backwards and forward. then i got moving, got everyone dropped off, didn't get lost getting home this time. i came in, got my dinner done, watched an anime series i've been into and eventually crashing.
it was just a tiring day, getting back into my rhythm. i'm not sorry for the time off, nor has it taken as much away from me as i was afraid it would. i'm glad i'm enjoying working, and think it is beneficial to me mentally. but i do believe it's time to look into moving on. so that's going to become a part of my doings at this point. still have other things to tend to as well. i'm immensely grateful, however, to Jehovah, for the provisions of the days prior to this one, and this one especially, as at this moment it is all i have, and all i need.
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