Saturday Morning

well, it's a new day, another weekend, and i'm trying to be productive.  it's not easy; it's cold enough today that my furnace kicked on by itself, and it's a dreary and sullen day.  but i'm going to keep on pushing; got a thing to do tonight and some things to do before then, so it's not a day for laying in the bed or sitting on my ass either.

yesterday was okay.  I felt good anyway.  I got up sluggish, which is prone to happen anymore.  I said prayers and got my day started, skipping breakfast as I do lately.  I read my books and got my ass dressed and got to work, but I stopped and got donuts for the people there at Walmart first.  \

the morning run was okay, picked up all but one, got them to the workshops safely, got back to the shop and got to counseling, which I was able to do an hour early.  I went to my parent's house afterward, made my mom an omelet, talked with her for a bit, same stuff as always, and I got myself some TB for lunch and went back to work.  the tone of the day changed a bit at that point, as I continue to watch from the outside of the dog and pony show that goes on at work.  it sounds judgmental, and it is, and likely ungracious, which could also be true, but that's what it feels like.  we're so busy there trying to find ways to help the corporation get bigger cuts from the Medicaid pot that we don't even take care of our own basic shit.  and I watch as people vie for hours (that, I learned recently, they don't even get time and a half for), not so much to augment their own checks, but just to stay in the loop with the ops manager.  but that's their affair.  I tried to be myself and be friendly; maybe the two concepts just aren't compatible.  \

regardless, I got the 2nd run done, got gas in my bus to start the week, got back, got my hours calculated and made my way home.  I had stuff at home to cook so I didn't bother with the store.  I cooked when I got in, ate my dinner and mostly laid around for the rest of the night.

at some point Lonnie called, but i didn't answer.  at some point, Yvette called, and i definitely didn't answer, not having heard from her since she got in the habit of hanging up on me and acting like i was inconveniencing her when i called.  tired of people's shit, and since i'm tired of my own i don't have a problem with that.  i slept brokenly, woke horny and cold and got the day started. 

so far, i've recorded some vocals, about to start on the detective fiction i started, i've had breakfast, got dishes washed and am contemplating going to the store.  have a thing at the ops manager's house this evening, i'm going to stop through and keep it moving mostly.  just to be sociable, not to be a part of.  and that's about where it is today.  i am grateful to Jehovah for life, and for letting me finish Job, understanding that mine is NOT to question why...