...we begin again at dawn...

well, its been some time.  i've been very busy being debilitated over the past several days.  I saw my 48th birthday come in in a wonderful way, and the falling apart i was doing just before my birthday continued the day after.  so at least i had a brief hiatus between.  we take what we can get.

i'm not going into a lot of detail here.  i've had some issues.  it happens.  humans are fragile and temporary.  i am a human, despite my spiritual leanings.  so i've got to make some adjustments.  hence, the title of this entry.

the breakdown will be as such:

from now on, this blog will record in three sections.  it will update throughout the day, so if you catch one part early that's likely not the entirety of the post.

the first part will be the gym.  I may not be able to get started with that until next week, but I should be back in stride on thursday.  gym days are to be Monday and Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.  Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday are off days.  REGARDLESS. so, four days.  that's the max i've ever done in the course of a week, and therefore that is what i am requiring of myself.  discipline will be restored.

the second section will be food intake info.  i've pretended long enough that i haven't relapsed dietarily.  I have been eating far and away from what is healthy for me.  and the truth is, it's mostly that i've gotten so lazy lately, when i'm active i can consume more.  but that's not an excuse.  i've not yet set my caloric intake so that will likely be stated tomorrow.  but everything i eat is going to get listed.  it's the only way i can trust myself, if i hold myself accountable to the truth.

and the third section is...THE LEDGER.  what was the day.  what did i do in the day?  what did i do for me?  what did i do for others?  which did i do more of?  what did i not do that i should have done?  what am I proud of myself for doing?  and what did I do to treat myself as i want to be treated?  these are the questions that are going to require notation.  if i stay on course, the pattern will make itself evident.

we will see.  we are grateful.  we being the Tim on the inside, and the Timothy who is now suffering the infirmaries for not listening to the inner child.  Jehovah has blessed us with life.  we have to bless us with meaning for that life.  we begin again...at dawn.