Thursday morning. I had some leg cramps last night, and the tops of my calves, right beneath my knees, are hurting, as they hurt yesterday. likely from the leg press machine on Tuesday. it's not going to kill me, i don't think, but it is a discomfort.
today is less running, but i'm going to start after I finish this entry. discipline only happens when you stick to the script. I have to go get my car title so i can get my tags tomorrow. I have to go to the store. Lunch with Lonnie. I need supplies. and I have to write today, work on poetry for the book. I've not spoken to R yet, but I intend to. decided I didn't want to feel any worse about something that I know nothing about yesterday, so i didn't call when i got out of training. i just came home and finished the day. but i can feel the urge to run. sink or swim, feast or famine. when you have, everyone wants to give you. When you lack, no one answers the phone. funny shit.
anyway...
breakfast was an omelet and a piece of toast. used three eggs today, because i'm emotional. onions, ham, mushrooms and a slice of gouda.
dinner is going to be chicken breasts, the rest of my zucchini, maybe some rice.
lunch is not known yet as i'm having lunch with Lonnie.
i went to the gym this morning. i walked 1.25 miles. burned just over 300 calories.
i feel sad today for some reason. i guess i run this gamut over and over with R. will she just let down her walls, let herself be with me and enjoy having someone who is not going to try to fence her in? or is the hurt so great that it simply has to happen in the most painful way possible? i can't keep doing this is all i know. at 48, i don't have enough life left to continue pursuing the hypothetical. more on that later.
i have to go, the morning is getting away from me.
No comments:
Post a Comment