Day 1

  

well.  it's a new year now. and i have promises to keep.  to begin, hello.  it's Tuesday evening, the first day ending in 2019.  means nothing, really.  i don't do resolutions.  i was taught in my first three or four years that our significance, as recovering alcoholics/addicts, is on living in the DAY, not the year, so i take this as just the prelude to the return to work.  i'm cool with it.

regardless, my intention is the restoration of consistency.  as in, i need to finish each day with an entry of some kind.  i need to get my ass moving toward a better day tomorrow by doing different things today, and being able to read them on a streaming basis, as it were, for continuity and accuracy.  i need to be obedient, in short form.  and i'm going to do my utmost to do so. 

today i stayed home.  i ate, i worked on some music, i talked to some people and i chilled. watched anime.  thought about the notion of returning to work, returning to the routine.  thought about what it will mean that i've not done my part to merge my route with someone else's as i said i would.  we'll have to see.  

i have deleted my last FB account.  there is a withdrawal that comes from removing yourself from social media, and it's some strange shit.  it's like quitting smoking, in a way.  like, when you quit smoking, you're not just giving up the cigarettes, you're giving up the cigarette in the dozens of places that you've conditioned yourself to smoke the cigarette.  FB is in my phone, on my laptop, desktop.  FB is the thing that i scroll mindlessly through first thing in the morning, and whenever i'm bored.  i wasn't even really logging anymore, definitely wasn't accruing friends or liking a bunch of new shit.  just wasting time.  figure it's time to do something with that wasted time.  like save my life.  like exercise.  like create shit.  whatever, time to DO.  and so it begins.

i don't know what the new format will be on this leg of the Journey.  i only know i'm grateful to Jehovah for where i am and where i've been, and i want to continue to remember to stay grateful.  and that's enough for now.