Bad Landing

saturday, waiting for Snowmaggeddon, i guess.  nothing happening so far.  soup made, but it's questionable.  wish i had more fridge space, all i can say right now.

yesterday was rough, but mostly peripherally.  but it's hard to act like the peripherals are detached from normal life shit, you know?  the shit happens, and you try to adjust your posture to carry a slightly off-balance load.  you keep moving, but it's different pressure, a different kind of response.

i don't know.  the day was cool starting out.  they're all a bit different at this moment, for moments already spoken on.  i got my stuff done, Rachel sat in on my morning readings again, second time.  i got dressed, having showered and shaved in the evening, and i picked up Joshua and went to work. 

neither of the drives were especially bad.  i spent a lot of time worrying about Joshua being okay.  the experience of working there is something that is so against the grain of his being, what he's patterned himself upon, that it is almost painful to see him using the same act that has not failed him before not even coming close to working now.  but he is a man, not a child.  no way to do for him what he has to do for himself. 

so coming back from lunch and finding that there'd been an accident, that he might well be on the way to being fired...that sort of makes me angry and sad at the same time. 

he wasn't driving.  a woman who shouldn't have been driving, whose health is compromised and perhaps her mental capacity as well, was driving, to show Joshua how to do his route more efficiently.  which is a joke.  now they may have gotten rid of her as well.  it is time to move on, that is the long and the short of it.

but, anyway, i got through the day, no issues, no incidents.  the snow hangs overhead like a thought waiting to be processed, but the sky is not done thinking yet.  i am rested but tired.  i don't know what comes next, but i am okay with whatever it might be.  and grateful to Jehovah for another cool day.