Changing

pondering plays a big part of my days so far this year.  i've been thinking on how to proceed from where i am back to where i'd like to be.  it's not really a burden, since so much of what i'm doing on a daily basis is just holding on while all the changes around me swirl and eddy; holding on is the key, i'm thinking.  thank God.

yesterday we had our weekly meeting, and while some things were hinted at (as per usual), there was nothing definitively stated against me.  i didn't honestly believe there would be, but the point was to be prepared to deal with it with serenity and silence should it arise.  regardless, i've learned in the aftermath that the woman who is assuming my route is going through her own horrid changes with management as well.  and i did apologize to her for not coming in during the break, to help put the new route together.  but she raised a good point, that if a new merged route was what they wanted they should have done it and just given it to us to adjust.  and they never truly do that.  i wonder how the other transportation companies do it?

nonetheless, the day wasn't bad.  they set her up with a late start, so we got to the first several people late, and they were waiting with their parents.  some were irate, others just concerned.  have to remember, some of the clients are not in good health, prone to all sorts of medical and physical issues due to their challenged physical conditions.  but we got it done, morning and afternoon.

in the break between the runs i went to see about my mom.  my dad's been in the hospital for the last two days, sunday in urgent care and then St. E's, and monday they kept him another day as he was having some blood pressure fluctuations.  my mom has been home alone.  i made her breakfast, found that my nephew has come by to stay with her a bit, i told my brother to check on her early and asked Rachel if she'd go check on her later today. 

still haven't seen Syd or the grandchild, but i'm taking that one day at a time and putting acceptance to work there.  nothing else to do, really. 

later in this week i'll have another route that i'll be learning, as Da Boss will be leaving due to the GM situation here.  i'm losing another friend to distance.  always sucks.

but i'm blessed with life today, and there are no vacuums in God's world.  i thank Him for whatever i have today, and whatever misses me that i will likely never know about.