Summer Cold, Winter Weather

you get tired.  it happens.  life just keeps going on, and that's a good thing, but sometimes it's a not so good thing.  but you get tired, regardless.  people act like they can just change the batteries stuffed up their ass and they're going to run like they always did.  but at a certain age, you understand the truth.  it's more like a cell phone battery.  you can replace it, and get some energy, but the parts wear down and the battery got nothing good to charge up anymore.  and that's life in entropy.  it happens. 

lose touch.  lose days.  but they're not lost.  i've been eating fucked up again.  doesn't take much.  i don't even know why.  not losing fast enough?  i don't think that's it.  i'm just in a 'don't care' kind of mind right now.  but it's going to get better.  i'm not all out of sorts, i'm just tending toward sloth and procrastination.  things i'd rather not face, i'm sure.  and to do that successfully, i eat and anesthetize.  but i'm going to face this shit, and i'm going to get past it.  that's where my head is at right now.

good day.  i'm off tomorrow.  appointment changing in Cleveland because my doctor referred me to the wrong specialist.  well, it doesn't exactly soothe my nerves.  but human shit is human shit.  i'm going to take time to really hunt for a car.  let my mechanic know he can roll when he's ready.  bills are paid.  house bills, anyway.  gonna get my dad his rent money.  got to get some groceries, but that'll be this weekend.  got all my meds, been reading and chilling, but i need to shake this fucking chill off and get hot with my work.  that's the deal. 

i'm blessed today.  thank Jehovah for the eyes to see the blessing, for the heart to feel it and the discernment to try to pass it along to someone else who may really need a bit of a blessing.  out.