now falls the rain...

there is a sense, regardless of logic or intellect, that we are seeing the end of things.  it is Saturday afternoon.  from a sky that has remained mostly gray for the past week, a flooding rain has begun to fall, with it's fair share of thunder and lightning.  in normal days, this may not be as daunting, but here, in my isolation, in the midst of the pandemic, it is a sign of bad things still coming.  and there is no escaping that feeling. maybe that's why sleep comes so hard.  maybe that's why I've got these strange pains and this heaviness always on my mind.  i'm always somewhat fatalistic anyway, just my nature.  but to perceive the worst in human nature is different, somehow, than seeing it played out in front of you every day.  I finally found toilet tissue at Aldi's, $10 a pack for generic toilet tissue now.  only double the price, so it could be worse.  got 10 dollars of gas at 1.499 a gallon.  lowest I've personally seen a gas station since about 2002.  and its funny how a person can place when gas prices were low because it was right before a jet plane slammed into the tower of the world trade center.

it seems like we've been projectile vomited into the future, and the future is dystopian/normative.  I should be well pleased, as the fodder for stories, should there be a significant amount of tomorrows, is glutted.  but I just see the rain stops, and it will likely start at that same intensity again, and I look out my front window and see the flood in my front yard, and I just want to go back to bed.  but I made a chicken salad from the rotisserie chicken I bought, and i'll prep my salmon for cooking tonight, and i'll do some cleaning.  I may nap first, but i'll do what I can get done.

i'm going to try to be a bit more consistent here, now, for real, because I realize these may be some of the last words I ever write, and i'd had to slack at the end.  but I thank my God and my Father, because i'm doing better than many and need to maintain my gratitude for that.

and, as Annie Lennox sang, here comes the rain again....