okay, it's Friday. i'm good, I guess. I don't know what else I could be. I worked today, and that's positive. I got to the store, got everything except toilet paper. that's going to take some work. but I don't need to hoard, so i'm hoping I can slip between the cracks (no pun intended) and get what I need. I made my parents burgers for breakfast/lunch (not brunch) and meatloaf, broccoli and brown rice for dinner. I had one pick up at work, got that done, talked to Rachel for a while. yes, I reached out, as I've been doing with the folks I don't talk to much, and we spoke and things are verbal again, which is cool. only took the end of the world, I joked. I still joke.
i'm tired, but I want to think for a bit. I don't have anything much to do tomorrow, but I've got to take Syd to her grandparent's house to help her grandmother clean her room, and perhaps make a bit of coin. meanwhile, i'm going to get something ready to cook for tomorrow, ribs I daresay. and i'm going to find something to watch, and watch some TV, and eventually pass out, because there's nothing else to do. I don't think it's an official complete lockdown just yet, but it's heading that way.
I wrote something out on FB this morning, because I wanted to offer a hand further than the one by one would allow me to reach. i'm going to copy/paste it below, but first I want to thank Jehovah, because I feel the calm in my center, and that's priceless right about now, but it's also a grant from God and it's something that has to be learned through the practice of the Serenity prayer. later, folks.
"You know what? I am scared. I'm not ashamed to admit that. I'd be a fool and a liar if I said I wasn't. I don't know the true source of this. I don't know what country, what lab, what mutation produced this thing. Does that matter at this moment?
I don't care what books, movies or TV shows this resembles; this ain't fiction, this ain't them. But. BUT. Why are we acting like the cameras are rolling and we're part of some production?
Since 1988 (before a lot of you were even an egg n sperm combo) I have been living my 2nd life. I'm almost 32 years past my expiration date. Ain't fresh, but ain't gone over either. So my fear about my own dying is minimal, though it's there. The same Program which blessed me with a 2nd life taught me that all I've got to get right is this 24 hours. If I do that, I win. So I'm working on it. But my children, their children...my elderly parents & extended family...I'm scared for them moreso. I want this to not be, so they'll be safe. But my wants don't matter right now. And that's this sermon, I guess you can call it that.
I don't know if we're at world's end. I do know, however, we are entering a new reality, and the old one died at the turn of the year. We are afraid at the primitive level, and we're reacting like we always do...prepare for the conflicts we're generating with each other, make sure we get more of what everyone needs so someone else will be deprived, find a race/gender/culture to blame and actively hate them, and buy into panic-inducing rhetoric rather than researching the info for facts that can be used. In this, we show our fear. And in this, we show our lack of both maturity & humanity. WE SHOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS BY NOW.
I'm going to the store now. Going to see about my parents, going to work after that. I have been checking on friends & will continue to do so, as that Same program taught me getting out of myself helps maintain both gratitude and serenity. Writing this helps too. Whether I like you or not, I choose to love you, as hate and disdain isn't worth carrying right now. I choose to be better. I hope everyone makes it to the sunset, safe and provided for. And if you need to talk, I'm here."😐😶"
No comments:
Post a Comment