good morning still. it's about 10am, if i'm not mistaken. 1030, closer. it's monday morning, and i'm about to do a quick roll to the gas station. got to fuel up so i don't have to worry about it tomorrow.
i've been trying to get my mind around some things, but not too heavy. not losing my mind over anything right now. actually trying to reconcile some things that i need to work on. i'm not going to try to play catch-up, but i issue an apology for my long absences. over the past week, the hard part has been keeping myself moving. its been rough, with the things about feeling like my company essentially said 'fuck you' on the bonus thing, and remembering that the important thing is having the job to make the money to take care of myself and my life. as well, i've been trying to get my mind around tending to some people that i've just let slide, because i don't want stress and strife in my existence today, nor do i want to keep negative shit floating around like my life is someone's backed-up toilet. trying to flush that shit. but i am still imbued with a response-ability, that if someone requires help and God puts them in my path my job is to try to help them. to that effect, TP has been trying to get in touch with me and i'm going to call her this morning, before i head out. but i'm not investing a ton of time in that. just have to see that she's okay and then get on with it.
yesterday we had a pot luck at the sunday meeting and not many people showed up. i made a cold-cut tray and only Marc and Gary ate from it. i gave it to my brother Jerry, along with the baked ziti i got from Marc because he made a whole roasting pan and there was no one there to eat it. so i got to feed my brother which was cool, and i went to my parent's house to make dinner for them as my mother wasn't feeling well, and that was cool too.
today i have to write. it's past time. i have to get back to moving to the light of creativity and better things. i've been hanging with Rachel, and that's cool. i've been talking to Syd and De'ja as much as i can. i've been doing my meetings. i've been praying and reading and trying to stay as close to my center as i can. and i'm ready to start working on Z-Phyles again.
i guess i'm just wanting to keep doing me, but i am very grateful. i don't feel overwhelmingly sad right now, i don't feel lack or stressed. and i don't have much more than i did, but in Jehovah's hands a small amount can be an abundance, because gratitude makes it exactly enough.
so, onward, upward and forward. aspire higher, inquire higher and desire higher, because it is not impossible at all. thank you, Father, for making enough more than enough. the abundance of Your love makes all things beneficial.
No comments:
Post a Comment