changes

changes occur.  and i don't mean my lack of writing in the journals i am supposed to be maintaining.  i mean, changes come in life, and the choice what to do in those changes becomes paramount, though you may not know it at the time.

i haven't written in some days.  it may be this way for awhile, sorry to say.  most days i am exhausted, though i'm not sure why.  things hurt every day.  my back, between my shoulder blades.  both knees.  walking is a slow process.  sleeping is broken.  i am going through some changes myself.  i keep working.  i keep moving forward.  i don't exactly know why; i just don't have sufficient reason to stop yet. 

today was stupid at work.  just, a bunch of ignorant shit, in the very literal definition of the term, 'ignorant'.  lacking knowledge, unknowing, unsophisticated.  they essentially gave us what amounts to the only raises we're going to get, as a bag of candy, some kind of small food packet/pouches, and a chance to play bingo for prize gift cards.  amazing.  and the other drivers, for the most part, went for it.  i was angry half the day.  i have to give it up and leave it in today, not take it into tomorrow should i be blessed with such a time frame. 

i have been doing okay eating wise, but i need to do much better.  i just want to be of whatever service i can, and i want to keep gratitude firmly focused in the front of my brain.  i am blessed, no matter what i think about current events in my life. 

i'm going to sleep.  i hope i can wake with a better attitude than i took to bed with me.  thank you, Father, for all that life entailed today.