Slow Dissipation

it takes awhile, sometimes.  but it comes, if you allow it to.

it's sunday now, and the anger and bitterness has faded.  good nights of sleep, rest and relaxation does quite a bit to temper the heated spirit.  that doesn't mean that i am wrong for how i feel, not at all. it just means that i have to take into account the knowledge of how things are done at my job, and also take into account how i have choices and must begin to exercise them more astutely.  i can't blame a thief for being a thief, nor can i get mad if a known thief steals from me because i was careless guarding my things.  i must start by being angry with myself for being careless, and do something about that.

so, it's sunday.  friday was a short day, and a learning day in its own way.  i am certain i ruffled some feathers with my attitude on Thursday, but i'm also certain that i don't care.  i didn't do anything wrong, and i'm not going to try to mend what was broken when i got there.  i'm going to continue to be the best me i'm capable of, and i'm going to get back to putting in applications and seeking a new place of employment.

Saturday was a non-day for the most part.  i laid around, ate some food, got a few things as i want to make a soup for monday, and i talked to some people on the phone.  i have been in need of rest, and though this won't be as huge a rest as i'll get next week, it will have to suffice.  i also have some clarity on a few things that i needed to see, and that is important to me as well.  i can't operate on the premise of 'appreciation' from others. i have to continue to seek to do Jehovah's will, and allow that to be my motivation and the bringer of any reward that comes to me.  those are the rewards that matter most anyway.

today i'm going to my meeting.  i'm going to my parent's house and i'm going to the store.  going to Lonnie's to pick up a crock pot to put the soup in to take to work tomorrow.  i'm putting in some applications.  i'm making my dinner.  had my shower and shave, it will suffice for tomorrow as well.  i've seen my child, my grandchild and his father.  it is good enough and it's just about time to roll.

i am grateful for all that i have been taught, all that i have yet to learn, and all that i currently know.  i am grateful to God for information, knowledge and wisdom, and the process of taking the first and turning it into the third.