Sunday morning. it's been a week, it's been interesting and productive, it's been something to consider, that's for sure. I can't ask for any more than this, literally, for the week itself is done, and there is only the day ahead. but even if I could, I wouldn't ask for any changes. it has been something nice.
it's been half a minute since I wrote, and I haven't meant to let time slide by. it's been active, that's the reality, and it slips my mind as I consider the activities of the coming day. but that just serves as a self-reminder to slow the hell down, and take the entire day as the entire day, and let tomorrow's worries come when tomorrow does. so I can do better, and I will.
from counseling Wednesday, where I learned I still have to value myself and my worth more, and that is a good thing to realize and receive help to see in oneself, to the work of Thursday and Friday, which was hectic and non-stop, and I learned some things about the people that I work around, though not with, because I drive for the company that drives for them, it was an educational experience all the way around. I learned how people on my job are scrambling to show competency, how they are trying to stay personally relevant, which means an ax is somewhere in the background waiting to fall. I learned that my co-driver may be in jeopardy, and that he is feeling the crunch but isn't really responsive to it. that's not good, and it doesn't bode well for him. I learned that I don't like when someone tries to make me look incompetent in a way that I am not. In new or old situations there is always the chance a person will have to learn something new, will have to adjust and adapt their way of doing things to a new way of things being. and that should never cause undue friction, because it's going to happen. it's like losing one's mind because a shoelace breaks. it is going to happen one day, and all you can do is replace the lace. however, I keep in mind that we live in a world that once kept extra shoelaces for just such situations, and now probably doesn't. and I refer to myself, and I know that if I broke a lace, i'd have to change shoes and buy another pair later, and I think that's what life analogy i'm going for here. someone tried to make it seem as if I wasn't working fast enough because they were not given accurate information to pass on to me to do my job right. and that scared them because they are already fearing they're not doing their job right. it is a bit much, but I adjust and I keep it moving, because there's not one other thing to do, honestly. what can you do? you see change, you adjust. you don't adjust, eventually you make yourself obsolete to the system that you were a part of before your obstinacy took over your life.
got through the week, though. it's Sunday. tomorrow, God willing that I wake, I work and then off for another 2 days. and in the interim, I had friends by for food and games last night.
always funny/sad to me, how much stock is placed in people being able to be a part of something. and I mean that focused on me as well as my friends. we don't gather just to chill anymore. we don't come together and break bread as a rule without an occasion. we see more of family at funerals than we do at holidays. I was reminded of the habit in black families once upon a time of having many Sunday dinners in the course of a month. all would gather who were in town, and it could be counted upon for good food and good company. I miss that like you wouldn't believe. so to have my friends come, bring some food, eat some food, drink some drink and smoke some smoke (not me on the last part), and laugh and talk and let their spirits show and their hairs down, it was some really nice shit. my daughter came, a co-worker from the old place who has issues with sociability that I can relate to showed up, and we had fun and we hung out. and I slept much better than I had been so it was therapeutic for me as well. i'm sorry that the One who Remains Nameless here didn't stay over, but sometimes you have to accept that things are supposed to be a certain way for a certain reason, and that the working out of that reason is far more important than immediate self-gratification. and I believe that was the case. so we had fun, and it's sunday now, and I've got a one o'clock meeting and I have to see my parents. and i'm going to get my shit together for work tomorrow. I've had a good breakfast, had coffee, read my stuff and took my meds. i'm going to get out of this cold for a bit, and i'll get on with my day shortly. but it was important to log, to get back to my travels, and to say thank you to Jehovah, for the gathering of spirits and the breaking of bread with friends.
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