Tuesday, Y'know?

almost time to go to work.  I haven't been real good in this lately.  i don't know why; i've been doing this for some years now.  it's amazing to think so.  its amazing to know so, to be honest.  and i'm not sorry about it, nor do i regret the journaling of my life, my emotions, my failures, successes, pain and pleasure.  i don't know why, or even if, there's a difficulty now.  i know i'm tired a lot of the times, but no more depressed than usual.  i don't even think of depression as
'out of the norm' anymore.  i just know that i feel okay, but i'm tired.  i took gabapentin last night, slept soundly, only woke once to go to the bathroom.  i ate soup for dinner, and enjoyed it.  Rachel went to do her 9 o'clock run, but hasn't come in and that's cool.  definitely not a 'report in' situation.  Ava's been let outside, has food and water, so i don't have to worry about that.  and the day lay ahead.

i can say some changes are going on, and i'm not sure what exactly they stand for.  i'm sick of working at PCS.  not sick of the work; sick of the PLACE.  the atmosphere there almost makes me ill.  you get the sense of being Julius Ceaser at a Senate gathering.  and i come and go, and do my thing and leave, and i'm okay with that arrangement.

yesterday wasn't a bad thing.  easy enough day.  today will be slightly harder, i'm sure.  today i have both wheelchairs, but one at a time.  and i'm not even sure how the second one will work, time-wise, into my run.  but it doesnt' matter.  a thing to be done, that's all...

heard from a friend that she went through treatment finally, and has a month clean.  that makes me happy.  i hope she follows through; i hope she uses some of the tools she's acquired, like meetings, phone numbers and most of all talking, so she can build a foundation for her sobriety to exist upon. 

took meds, read books, had a muffin.  prayed, for certain.  it's time to warm the car.  i will be back here sooner, i promise.

thank you, Jehovah, for my sober life.